Chia Pets

The same lame generation that gave the world the Pet Rock…..

Further hastened the end of civilization as we know it by introducing the world to…

Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Chia Pet!

First of all, if you were a child of the 1970′s or 1980′s and you received a Chia Pet as a gift for Christmas, your Birthday, your graduation, etc…… You need to go visit that loved one that thought so highly of you, you need to pick up that loved one’s current domesticated pet, hopefully a small dog, cat, hamster, or heaven forbid, a small tropical fish…..and then you need to approach the loved one that bought you that Chia Pet all those years ago, and then you need to beat that person about the face with the small domesticated pet, repeatedly and violently, until both the loved one and the pet, are no longer conscious.

(It only took 3 blows from a 12yr old Chihuahua to knock my Mother into unconsciousness)

If by some fluke of nature, you actually bought one for yourself at some point in your miserable life, then you need to scoot the chair you are currently sitting in as close to your computer monitor as you can possibly get it. Now, you need to reach forward with both arms and firmly grasp each side of the computer monitor. Lean your head slightly downward so that your face is lined up squarely with the center portion of the monitor screen. Now, with every ounce of strength that you can muster, thrust your face into the monitor screen, violently and repeatedly, until you are so dazed and disoriented that you can no longer maintain control of your bowel and bladder functions.

Your welcome!